last night

it had been a hard week again, for me at least.  on monday, we had made plans to hang out on friday at an outdoor concert he mentioned a few weeks back when we were walking around at midnight and looking for food.

but i was hurting from the weekend.  he was busy, and he didnt really keep in touch with me.  i hate that he has changed that part, but today when i mentioned it, he glossed over it.

when i got to his place, we immediately went to the balcony because it was really hot inside.  he lives on the top floor, so the view of the dtla buildings are pretty awesome.

the conversation flowed like always, with him telling me about his work week and i mine.  it always takes me awhile to acclimate to a man's home.  i just have to sit there quietly and let him talk and drink and take hits from the vape.

so i did.  and i told him about my week.

he told me about the stars and showed me the little dipper.  hes an astronomy buff, and when i first went to his place, he showed me the stars and the surrounding areas with his telescope.  i remember asking him if it was a chick magnet, and he laughed.

of course, i didnt talk about how fucking confused i was about his distance the past two weeks.  i hate confrontation, and neither of us are proactive.  we are both pretty reactionary.

so we hung out until we went to our friday night spot.  we saw the little bartender who was really happy to see us, but earlier, we had made a decision to just not invite others into our conversation and time.  we said hi to him, but we made it clear that we were just not social tonite.

the conversation was fun and simple.  i ordered a chop salad, and he ordered the pizza.  at the end of the night, the chef who was one of my peeps came out to talk to us until we left.  we are always the last ones to leave that place.

on the way back, we passed by a group of guys who were having a spitting contest.  i went one way, and he went another to avoid them, and then met up again.

when we got back, we sat on the balcony and talked again.

he said, dont let me get riled up.

what do you mean?

you know when we passed by those idiots spitting?

yes.

i was thinking, why did she go that way?

why?

because they had just spit earlier.  if that guy spit over you, i would have just fucked him up.

he wasnt going to spit.

yeah, but if he did, i would have taken all three of them on.

please dont ever get to that point.  remember that you are my reward for a hard week, and our time is limited.

i know. thats why im telling you, dont let me get riled up.

i wont.

you get annoyed, too.  i saw it when that guy slammed the area by you.

i was protective of my space.  of our space.  thats why i like it there because no one is bumping into us.

yeah, and id rather if someone bumped into me than into you.  if they bumped into you, i would say something.

no, i wont let you get upset.

he continued to talk about it, giving me scenarios of him rescuing me.  it was pretty sweet.

then, he said, youre the personality.

what do you mean?

everyone over there talks to you.  the chef parked herself right in front of you, the bartender talks to you, even the ugly bartender talks to you.  do you realize you ordered all of my beers tonite?

shes fake.  i dont like her.  hey, i did order your beers.

because they want to talk to you.  they include me in the conversation, but clearly, youre the personality.

i like your personality.

youre the only one who sees this side of me.

really?

yes. youre the personality. im like the side.

oh, so im the main dish, and youre like...

you know how you order salad?

yes.

im the salad...and youre the pizza.

thank you.

i like that place.

me, too.

when we went to bed, he held me, and normally, it would be so uncomfortable, but i fell asleep that way.  throughout the night, we shifted positions, but he pulled me to him.  its probably subconsciously, but i like it.

he lies on his back, and i cuddle into his side, while he wedges his leg between mine...or he lies on his side, and he pulls me to him and his chest hair tickles my nose.

i love this.  ive missed it.

*****
tonite, my son went to prom.  i met his girlfriend the other night.  shes cute, sweet, but a bit jumpy.  i dont blame her.

so, he looked great...and her dress was fantastic.

i just wish i had someone to share this with.  but its temporary.

ill find the one.  i know it.

soon.